Fade

You left your mark on me
  the ink on the page is fad i n g  o u t
    drinking the bitter poison
         of my agony

     Your face gleefully shines
      a stark contrast
   compared to mine

Pieces of my heart
 falling apart,
  dodging minefields,
    stepping on shattered glass

   The past is in the past
     You’ve moved on
    I’m still riding
  this wave of e m o t i o n s

So I close the door
  to you

forevermore

Drifting

Drifting in and out of consciousness
the water buoys me
exhaustion starting to take over

The iciness settles into my bones
feeling sodden and sullen
a dead weight in the ocean

The edges of my mind blurring
I spiral out of control
falling into a chasm of drowsiness

I cannot hold out much longer
forcing my leaden lids to stay open
hallucinating salvation

I try to anchor my thoughts
choking on the salt
gasping for air

Just as I have succumbed
my body cold and numb
the tidal waves crash onto the shore
Not adrift anymore

Distance

The firelight dances behind my eyes,
as I smile with elation.
I fight through the pain
of this separation.

The distance stings like sharp knives;
there is pain hidden in your eyes.
I wish you were here by my side;
you occupy all of my thoughts.

These oceans create a divide;
barriers between us we cannot avoid.
I miss you every single day;
without you here I feel destroyed.

I love you more with every text;
you make it hard to even focus.
You leave me feeling perplexed;
You're an elusive enigma.

I imagine our future together;
growing grey and old.
The summers we would spend
laying on the sand and in the water so cold.

-To my Gorgeous Goddess

Found

There are tears in my eyes
knowing I can't have you by my side.
I would cross oceans of blue
just to be with you.

I want to put my fingers through
the ringlets of your curly hair.
You fan the flames of my desire
I need you before I perspire.

You said you didn't really like poetry,
but you tolerated it for me.
I know you still liked my poems
as you stated that they're a piece of me.

I couldn't express myself to you another way
I wanted to let you know that someday I'll be okay.
In a way you'll always be my first
but I know I wasn't your first anything.

Perhaps that's the most devastating of all,
that I lost you before I could even have you.
You found me and saved me from drowning
but even then I could never feel the warmth of your lips.

So I am giving you this piece of me
preserved in this poem.
A part of me will probably always want more
but there's another ocean out there waiting for me.


- Dedicated to Naryenfer

The Hourglass

Time seems to be slipping away,
my words falter.
I'm losing sleep
hidden beneath the agony.

Colors fade to pink and blue
the summer sunset.
The world turns to grey
a storm shining through.

Thunder cracks overhead
lightning streaks across the sky.
Blood stained tears
splash to the ground.

The silence resounds
a thorn pricks my finger.
The streetlights dim
my heart decays.

The sand is gone
I'm out of time.

Dejection

The blood seeps to the floor,
nothing but a gaping wound.
You tore a hole inside me
that I cannot restore.

The deafening silence
surrounds me.
There is no peace
just raging violence.

Another form of rejection,
loneliness my only friend.
You left me cold
with no sense of direction.

I dangle over the edge of the precipice,
the rough waves splashing below.
Jagged rocks along the shore,
Staring into the abyss.

It begins to rain,
in my solitude.
The tides begin to recede
as I wallow in the pain.

Drowning

I drift amongst the waves,
with no destination.
The currents tear me asunder,
the white waves blind me.

Saltwater fills my lungs,
compressing against my chest.
I drown slowly.
The waves drive me,
deeper into the sea.

The water
turns into liquid lava.
A burning sensation
in my throat,
setting me on fire.

The compression
building in my chest.
I can feel myself
going under.
The calming blue
washes into white.

The life I had
soaking away.
One last thing
comes to mind.
All of it
had been a waste of time.