Found

There are tears in my eyes
knowing I can't have you by my side.
I would cross oceans of blue
just to be with you.

I want to put my fingers through
the ringlets of your curly hair.
You fan the flames of my desire
I need you before I perspire.

You said you didn't really like poetry,
but you tolerated it for me.
I know you still liked my poems
as you stated that they're a piece of me.

I couldn't express myself to you another way
I wanted to let you know that someday I'll be okay.
In a way you'll always be my first
but I know I wasn't your first anything.

Perhaps that's the most devastating of all,
that I lost you before I could even have you.
You found me and saved me from drowning
but even then I could never feel the warmth of your lips.

So I am giving you this piece of me
preserved in this poem.
A part of me will probably always want more
but there's another ocean out there waiting for me.


- Dedicated to Naryenfer

The Hourglass

Time seems to be slipping away,
my words falter.
I'm losing sleep
hidden beneath the agony.

Colors fade to pink and blue
the summer sunset.
The world turns to grey
a storm shining through.

Thunder cracks overhead
lightning streaks across the sky.
Blood stained tears
splash to the ground.

The silence resounds
a thorn pricks my finger.
The streetlights dim
my heart decays.

The sand is gone
I'm out of time.

Dejection

The blood seeps to the floor,
nothing but a gaping wound.
You tore a hole inside me
that I cannot restore.

The deafening silence
surrounds me.
There is no peace
just raging violence.

Another form of rejection,
loneliness my only friend.
You left me cold
with no sense of direction.

I dangle over the edge of the precipice,
the rough waves splashing below.
Jagged rocks along the shore,
Staring into the abyss.

It begins to rain,
in my solitude.
The tides begin to recede
as I wallow in the pain.

Drowning

I drift amongst the waves,
with no destination.
The currents tear me asunder,
the white waves blind me.

Saltwater fills my lungs,
compressing against my chest.
I drown slowly.
The waves drive me,
deeper into the sea.

The water
turns into liquid lava.
A burning sensation
in my throat,
setting me on fire.

The compression
building in my chest.
I can feel myself
going under.
The calming blue
washes into white.

The life I had
soaking away.
One last thing
comes to mind.
All of it
had been a waste of time.

Disappointment

I ventured out into the rain
trying to find clarity.
Searching for an answer
in my disappointment.

I was left with a fogginess
a confusion I couldn't identify.
Walking with no destination
rain slowly pouring on my head.

Passing different buildings
in the wake of darkness.
I find myself lost
with no one.

The stream of tears
fall down my face;
disappearing into the rain
as the sun sets.

I came back
cold and broken.
Just as dazed
as I had started.

To Winter

Winter winds,

shatter through the night.

White snow falls gently,

coating the ground.

We set up a fake tree,

ornaments are hung up.

Lights twinkling from the branches,

paired with Christmas tunes.

The first day of winter break,

We rent scary movies.

The paranoia sets in,

making me feel restless.

I imagine that the killer

is coming for me,

I am sure of it.

I think I can hear footsteps,

creaking slowly up the stairs.

I step out of my room,

the wind pounds against the door.

The Christmas lights glowing

from the branches of the tree.

The tunes no longer cheerful

they play ominously

adding to my fear.

The rest of winter I spend

bundled by the fire,

listening to the crackling.

An old book in hand,

the weathered yellow pages,

crinkles coarsely between my fingers.

The smell of the fire,

singes my nostrils.

The warmth overwhelming,

comforting from the cold.

The sweet taste of hot cocoa,

lingers on the tip of my tongue.

The Journey

Rain hitting against the windshield,

droplets looking like tiny specks of sperm

racing across the window aimlessly.

Travelling past the pastures and the fields,

the signs reflecting back on the slick wet road.

The heir of a dog driving with no destination,

over 90 miles an hour on an empty highway.

The cigarette dangles loosely from his lips.

Plumes of smoke drifting through his airways,

He flicks the rest of the butt outside.

He lights up another one,

after a few drags,

it breaks like a cheap condom.

“Shit!” He shouts in frustration,

“Worthless fucking fags”

He tosses it out on the street.

He takes out his bottle of brandy,

Taking a swig

he swishes it around his mouth,

letting it linger on his tongue.

The acrid taste of the acid,

helping him to forget

the mistakes he’s made.

The alcohol numbing his senses,

his thoughts scattered like the sparse stars.

He breaks down,

the tears blurring his vision.

He is left with bruises and scars,

he curses her, himself and his existence.

He lets it all go.